the rug that sat in the center of my living room is now downstairs in the dumpster. it was and still is a large beige area rug that i purchased from ikea last year when i got this apartment. at the time i was swiping my visa card left and right purchasing the things i thought i needed to make my apartment a home. that area rug along with many other items i purchased served a purpose for me in that moment. those items were physical manifestations of my desire to have a complete living space and i accomplished that... over the past few weeks when i've returned home i looked down at the rug and didn't see its meaning. the small dark stains that were created by crumbs of dirt that fell from the shoes of a few guests and the dust that would otherwise accumulate in some other section of my large stained concrete floor sat prominently on that rug like signs of aging and abuse. it served its purpose and now its gone. the room feels cleaner and surprisingly the room feels bigger. its like a large space has opened up for something new and not some new item to take the place of that rug but for new possibilities.
it's funny how we bring people and things into our lives and even though we may not acknowledge it initially there's a part of us that may recognize at some point in our relationship that that person or that thing will not be there forever and not always because it will cease to exist but because our desire to have it and the illusion that we need it will diminish with time and with change. the feeling of relief i am experiencing in this moment is something i did not expect to feel. it was just a damn rug, right? no... it was a distraction, a waste of space and time, an artifact from some past chapter that has since set sail, some item that was cool and meaningful at some point but not at this point.
i think now about all of the other things i have that are just there because that's where they landed and not because i'm working to keep them there. they say less is more and i don't necessarily agree but i will say that for me in this moment less is best. before this summer ends i'm committed to doing some spring cleaning and not because i have my seasons mixed up, but because i need to let go of some dusty, old, unnecessary rugs so that i have the best chance to spring forward in this new and constantly evolving me. i hope my trash is someone else's treasure because i'm searching for my treasure at the end of this rainbow and i don't need trash blocking my view.